8 min read
What is Anger Management?
Author
Hailey Perez
LMFT
Anger management has become a core aspect of many psychotherapy models.
But why is it so important to manage anger? Isn’t anger a necessary emotion?
Everyone has their own perception of whether anger is ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Often, these value judgments are at odds with each other. Some people view anger as a negative feeling they should stuff down lest it cause harm. Others view anger as an important driver of personal agency or even social justice.
Differing approaches to anger have also been a sticking point in psychological theory throughout the decades. Today, as is often the case, the consensus falls somewhere in the middle.
Anger is a perfectly normal emotion that everyone experiences. When regulated, it is healthy and useful. However, chronic anger can be harmful to oneself and one’s relationships. In cases where anger is uncontrollable, it can be particularly dangerous.
In this article, we will explore a broader understanding of anger to clarify when it is healthy and when it becomes harmful. We will look at the causes and symptoms of chronic or uncontrollable anger and provide management strategies. We will then delve further into how therapy can help with anger management.
What is Anger Management?
Anger management refers to skills and therapy for people struggling with problematic anger.
Anger is not just a normal emotion, but it is actually very important. It evolved as a tool for survival, connected to the ‘fight’ instinct when facing a perceived threat.
When angry, your heart rate increases, adrenaline is released, your breath comes faster, your muscles tense, and you’re more inclined to react emotionally. The upshot is that you’re ready to fight.
In dangerous situations, anger can lead to decisions which save your life or protect your sense of self. However, that does not mean it is always healthy.
It can be useful to think of anger as a hammer. If you need to nail down a piece of wood, it is the perfect tool. But if you’re installing a window, a hammer is extremely destructive.
Similarly, anger can protect you when there is a danger to fight against. However, when you are engaged in delicate negotiations or trying to work on a relationship, it can cause major damage.
This is one reason why anger management is so important. Another reason is that chronic anger affects your physical and emotional health. After all, it keeps your muscles tensed and adrenaline rates high, while your thoughts and feelings remain reactive.
Symptoms of Anger Problems
There are a number of signs and symptoms that indicate that you are having difficulty managing anger. They include:
Behavioral Symptoms
- Frequent outbursts of rage: Rather than infrequent but useful surges of anger, you find yourself blowing up multiple times a week or even multiple times a day.
- Chronic irritability: You feel annoyed frequently or consistently throughout the day with everything from work to relationships.
- Difficulty controlling reactions: When you do get angry, you find it tough not to react immediately, even when the consequences of a reaction are likely to be negative.
- Strained relationships at home or work: Your anger and its expression are causing damage to the important relationships in your life. A distance is building between you and your loved ones and you are starting to burn bridges important to your career.
Physical Symptoms
- High blood pressure: Chronic or frequent anger issues can contribute to elevated blood pressure over time.
- Muscle pain: Especially in the jaw, neck, shoulders, and back.
- Headaches or migraines
- Stomach issues: Such as nausea, indigestion, or flare-ups of IBS.
- Sweating and overheating: When not attributable to the climate.
- Insomnia: From restlessness, replaying arguments in your head, and looping angry thoughts.
- Heart issues and weakened immune system functioning
How to Know if You Need Anger Management
Many of the above symptoms are normal in moderation when linked with healthy or occasional anger. You may need anger management if:
- The symptoms become problematic, interfering with your daily life.
- You are having a hard time functioning at work or in your home responsibilities.
- You are falling out with loved ones due to problems with expressing anger or holding resentment.
- There have been consequences, whether at work or at home, or even with legal issues.
- Occasions of episodes of anger have become frequent, or you have remained angry for an extended period of time.
- You find it difficult to retain control when you experience anger triggers.
If the above resonates with you, consider seeking anger management therapy today.
Types of Anger Issues
People experience anger issues in many different ways. In one person, the presence of an anger issue can seem obvious to everyone. You probably know someone who blows up at people around them, saying or doing hurtful things. Maybe you experience this yourself.
In another person, an anger issue can be difficult to detect. Others may see them as calm and accommodating, even as anger simmers inside. Only they themselves and those closest to them recognize its presence.
Different types of anger issues require different approaches. These are the most common types.
Explosive Anger
When we speak about anger, most people are inclined to think of explosive anger first. In the movie Inside Out, anger is represented as a red character who has a very direct way of communicating and is always on the verge of blowing his top.
Explosive anger, after all, is the type of anger that most directly and immediately affects others. The person may go red, yell, insult people, and even become physically aggressive. It can be scary to experience, both as the individual and those around them.
Explosive anger can ‘get the job done’ when urgent action is needed, but in any other instance can be incredibly destructive. People who struggle with explosive anger, even if it is only on occasion, can become isolated, sabotage their careers, and end up with many regrets.
Passive-Aggressive Anger
Although not as obvious as explosive anger, passive-aggressive anger is generally recognized by the person and those around them. It comes through in snarky comments, backhanded compliments, sullenness, the silent treatment, and other so-called passive words and actions.
People who experience passive-aggressive anger may seem to be trying to avoid expressing it. However, due to their tone of voice and physical embodiment of the emotion, it tends to come across quite strongly. Often, the passive-aggressive nature of the anger is due to conflict avoidance rather than an unwillingness to feel or express it.
Passive-aggressive anger is unlikely to do the type of harm possible with explosive anger. That being said, it leads to consequences. The issue triggering the anger is not spoken about, but all parties involved feel the aggression in the interactions. It can chip away at relationships and lead to poor choices at work. The person may sometimes act in spite even when it’s against their own interests.
Self-Directed Anger
Self-directed anger differs significantly in its expression to the previous types. It is common in people who view anger as unacceptable or who have learned to blame themselves when things go wrong. For example, you may find that you beat yourself up even for minor mistakes.
It’s easy to see the other types of anger as adaptations of the fight-flight-freeze response, but self-directed anger is also an aspect of this. In some cases, it is consistent with the flight instinct, as the person removes themselves from engaging with a situation perceived as dangerous. In other cases, it is consistent with the freeze instinct, as the person justifies not acting by assuming that the danger is within.
A common misconception is that self-directed anger is the most benign form, as the person doesn’t lash out or seem to make rash decisions. However, it can be very harmful to the person themselves, as they engage in a pattern of harsh self-criticism, internalized responsibility for things out of their control, feelings of guilt, and even self-harm.
Chronic Anger
Chronic anger refers to a long-term emotional state. While anger is usually a response to a particular situation, a person with chronic anger remains angry even when there is no direct trigger.
The person may experience long-lasting frustration, irritation, or resentment. This leads to them feeling on edge most days or every day, experiencing tension in their body, interpreting neutral situations as hostile, and finding it tough to let things go, even those others do not perceive as serious.
Unlike angry reactions, chronic anger develops from long-term issues, including stress, unresolved conflict, trauma, or feelings of injustice. Much of the time, the anger itself is not expressed. However, occasions of explosive anger and passive-aggressive anger are likely to occur more frequently than with other individuals. Self-directed anger is also a common occurrence and can persist or get worse as the state of chronic anger continues.
How Common Are Anger Problems?
There’s no denying that everyone struggles with anger sometimes. Even those who are most adept at appropriately expressing anger can occasionally lose their cool or, conversely, stuff their feelings down.
However, the pervasiveness of anger problems is more difficult to assess as relatively little research has focused on them in isolation. Anger problems can have a significant impact on your relationships and sense of wellbeing. They can lead to self-sabotage. But they are not in and of themselves mental health disorders.
It’s important to note that conditions are only diagnosable as mental illnesses if they make it difficult or impossible to function. Although they may feel unhappy or have some volatile relationships, many people who struggle with anger issues are able to meet their responsibilities and are not at risk of self-harm or suicide.
In fact, an unfortunate reality is that in corporations today, anger is sometimes rewarded as it is seen to ‘get results’. On social media, the expression of anger is often confused with righteousness and encouraged by so-called echo chambers.
That being said, the presence of anger problems can point to underlying mental health conditions. Furthermore, when unaddressed, anger problems can contribute to the development of mental health disorders. In addition, conditions like intermittent explosive anger (IED) are diagnosable when anger issues lead to significant impairments in functioning.
Although there are few studies on the rates of anger problems in isolation, here is what we can learn from the statistics that are available.
Statistics on Anger Issues in Adults and Teens
One study from 2015 found that 7.8% of American adults (approximately 23 million people) experienced problematic anger. Problematic anger was defined as ‘1) anger that was triggered by small things or that was difficult to control, (2) frequent temper outbursts or anger that lead to loss of control, or (3) hitting people or throwing objects in anger.’
The study necessarily had certain limitations. In particular, since it was based on self-reports, people who suppressed their anger or directed it towards themselves were less likely to identify the presence of problematic anger. As such, the figures may be viewed as a conservative estimate.
In a 2012 study on teens, more than two thirds of respondents reported having experienced anger attacks that included destroying property, threatening violence, or engaging in violence. As many as 7.8% of respondents met the criteria for intermittent explosive disorder (IED).
Other studies have focused on subsections of the population. One study on individuals who had gone through trauma found that 22,4% of participants experienced trauma-related anger problems. This rose to 80% among individuals who met the criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
In a survey of the millenium cohort in the US military, over 17% of respondents experienced anger problems. These rates were higher among those with financial struggles, childhood trauma, and mental disorders, including PTSD and substance use disorders. The study noted that military personnel are more likely to see problematic anger as acceptable or even helpful.
These statistics scratch the surface when it comes to identifying the prevalence of anger problems. Nonetheless, they demonstrate that these issues affect tens of millions of Americans and need to be addressed.
Anger in Teens
It is important that anger in teens is not catastrophised. Adolescence is a period of significant changes, and not just hormonally. Teens are learning that the world is more complicated than they believed and that adults are far from perfect.
This doesn’t mean that problematic anger in teens shouldn't be taken seriously. Rather, because it is so normal for teenagers to experience intensified feelings of anger, it is all the more important to train them in anger management skills.
Please note that Octave does not offer services for teens.
Causes of Anger Issues
While everyone experiences even intense anger on occasion, only some individuals develop anger issues.
What are the causes of problematic anger?
Genetics and Brain Chemistry
Some people are predisposed to developing anger problems due to genetics. Specific genes have been identified which correlate with difficulty regulating anger.
Your brain chemistry and its production of hormones can also predispose you to anger issues. In particular, deficiencies in serotonin are often associated with increased anger and aggression. Dopamine and GABA deficiencies are also associated with anger, although to a lesser extent.
The influence of brain chemistry, as well as brain development, is most clearly seen in the anger experienced by teenagers who are going through major hormonal changes and maturation in their prefrontal cortex.
For some people, these factors predispose them to heightened intensity on the occasions when they become angry. Others are predisposed to long-term anger of moderate or high intensity.
Environmental Factors
Environmental factors have a major influence on the development of both short-term and long-term anger.
This is often the case when a person grows up in a difficult environment, with high levels of stress or trauma such as neglect or abuse. If caregivers do not have adequate anger regulation techniques, one is more likely to struggle to manage their own anger throughout life.
But it’s not just a person’s childhood environment that influences anger. High levels of stress due to family or work responsibilities, as well as strained relationships, can increase emotional volatility and make it more difficult to manage anger.
Macro events also impact levels of anger. When there is political and economic strife in a region, or prejudice and violence, people feel threatened and stress levels rise in order to respond to potential dangers. Anger is a common response as part of the ‘fight’ instinct.
With today’s twenty-four hour news cycle and the global connectedness facilitated by social media, we are exposed to news of turmoil across the world to a higher degree than ever before. In some spaces, chronic anger has become a normalized way to experience this turmoil. We can see the effect of this in the increasing vitriol expressed online and in person in the United States and around the world.
Learned Behaviors
Why do we form habits? The simple answer is because they work. In some way, the action brings a necessary result and so we do it again and again and again.
This doesn’t mean that they work well, only that they do so in the short term. For example, you might find that smoking a cigarette alleviates your anxiety. However, this perceived effect is brief and comes at a significant cost.
Anger is similar. If you yell at someone and they do what you want them to do, you have achieved a result. You do it again and again, achieving similar results and it becomes a learned behavior or habit. This behavior comes at a cost, however, to your relationships and, potentially, your reputation. You might feel guilty or ashamed of it. Nonetheless, since your brain perceives the strategy as having worked, it is difficult to stop using it.
Similarly, keeping your anger inside or directing it at yourself may bring the result of avoiding conflict with a loved one. The negative effects can be difficult to see at first, and you repeat the behavior. Eventually, it becomes your modus operandi and leads to long-term issues such as low self-worth and superficial relationships.
Mental Health Conditions
Anger issues are a symptom of a range of mental health conditions. People with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are at particularly high risk of developing an anger problem, as their minds and bodies remain in a state of readiness to deal with potential threats.
Anxiety can also trigger anger problems as the person feels on edge and perhaps prioritizes solving imagined problems over emotional regulation.
Internalized anger is a common symptom of depression. It can even be a factor that leads to depression, as the person begins to punish or sabotage themselves.
Difference Between Normal Anger and Problematic Anger
Anger is a normal emotion. How do you differentiate between normal anger and problematic anger?
There are 4 major signs that anger is problematic:
- Anger triggers: It’s not only the big things that set the person off. Things that appear minor to others trigger anger.
- Duration or Frequency: The anger issues are not occasional but happen frequently or last an extended period of time.
- Intensity: The intensity is high, out of proportion to the trigger. Alternatively, in cases of chronic anger, the intensity may be moderate but continuous.
- Consequences: The anger leads to significant consequences, whether social, legal, or health-wise. Despite these consequences, the behaviors don’t change and the anger does not dissipate.
Diagnosing Anger Problems
Anger problems are diagnosed by mental health professionals through clinical evaluations, assessments, or questionnaires.
With a therapist, you can do a clinical evaluation in a session. They will ask you questions and help you explore the causes of your anger, how it is impacting your life, and why it may be problematic.
A mental health professional may also use an assessment or questionnaire to get a quantitative understanding of your anger issues. These tools assess whether your anger is normal, temporarily heightened, or problematic. They quantify how intense it is, how long it has been occurring, the possible role of circumstantial issues, and more.
Anger issues can be a symptom of mental health disorders but are not usually considered disorders on their own. You do not need to be diagnosed with an anger problem to receive treatment, but it can help you identify what it is useful to work on in therapy for anger issues.
While anger is not a diagnosis, your clinician may diagnose you with an underlying mental health condition that is leading to the anger.
Management and Treatment of Anger
Whether you are struggling with long-term anger issues or simply want to improve your ability to manage anger, the good news is that treatment is available. Therapy in particular is an excellent way to process the triggers of anger and learn anger management skills.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most popular therapy modalities for a reason. It is not only effective, but works within a time-limited and goal-oriented structure.
In CBT, you will learn to identify anger triggers so as to change the thoughts and behaviors associated with them. These triggers are different for each individual. However, the associated thoughts reveal underlying beliefs which are inaccurate and problematic.
The skills learned in CBT sessions are particularly useful as they are designed to be practiced by the individual on their own. Over time, they become habitual. Instead of immediately reacting to a trigger based on problematic beliefs, the person is able to pause and challenge the thoughts. Eventually, the beliefs themselves change and the person is no longer triggered in the same way.
Anger Management Classes or Group Therapy
Although people process and react to anger in different ways, anger management skills work for a wide variety of people. They are designed to get to the core of the anger, without necessarily having to address the specificity of triggers or one’s personal background.
In anger management classes, you will learn skills to help with emotional regulation, which prevents anger from spiralling out of control. You will also learn to pause before acting or during an automatic response, as well as to resolve any consequences of an undesirable incident. You will be given the opportunity to reflect on what’s working and on how you are doing at implementing the skills between classes.
Group therapy will help you with these skills while also giving you the chance to go deeper. While many people prefer one-on-one therapy sessions, group therapy can be particularly useful for anger management, as anger is so often expressed in relationships. The group therapy space becomes the perfect place to learn to consider the experience of others when you are triggered and to practice implementing interpersonal anger management skills.
Mindfulness-Based Therapy
Mindfulness is one of the foremost tools in the therapy toolbox today. Mindfulness-based therapy puts the philosophy and practice of mindfulness at the core of the process.
Mindfulness is extremely helpful in learning to manage anger, as it provides a path towards non-reactivity. You will build the habit of pausing before reacting in a variety of situations. When it comes to anger, this habit is crucial. With breathing techniques, meditation, non-judgment, and other mindfulness principles and practices, your outlook on anger changes, as does its impact on your life.
Medication
When anger issues are a symptom of an underlying mental health condition, such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD, medication can help. This is not because it directly treats the anger, but rather that it alleviates the suffering that is causing the intensified anger.
Similarly, if physiological factors are contributing to the anger issues, such as hormonal shifts, sleep issues, and substance withdrawal, medication that treats the underlying condition will help alleviate the symptom of anger.
Find a therapist who can help with anger issues
What to Expect With Anger Issues
Many people go years without treatment for anger issues, as they continue to function at work and with their general responsibilities. But that doesn’t mean the anger is harmless. On the contrary, when left untreated, anger issues can lead to:
- Strained relationships, even to the extent that loved ones distance themselves or feel unsafe around the person.
- Work problems, especially when the person is increasingly hostile towards colleagues, managers, or clients.
- Legal issues, in cases where the anger leads to lashing out, physically harming others or damaging property.
- Internal struggles, such as with self-worth, shame, and anxiety.
- Health issues, such as high blood pressure and heart problems.
How to Live With Anger
Anger management therapy or classes are the ideal treatment for anger issues. However, there are ways to better manage and cope with anger that can be practiced at home.
Practical coping strategies include:
- Deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness: These techniques are not as simple as they may sound. If possible, attending classes will help you learn to implement a daily practice.
- Regular exercise: Physical exercise has been shown to improve mental health and wellbeing. It also helps release anger held in your body and may help you to ‘blow off steam’.
- Self-reflective journaling: Making your feelings external without projecting them onto others can alleviate some of the anger.
- Education: A better understanding of anger will motivate you to address anger issues and provide insight into how to do so.
- Healthy communication skills: Misunderstandings and lack of communication can lead to hostility even between people who love each other. Being able to better communicate your feelings provides the opportunity to resolve conflict before it leads to explosive anger, passive-aggression, and resentment.
- Limiting substances: Alcohol and stimulants are common substances that can worsen anger, the effect carrying over even when you are no longer inebriated.
When to Seek Help
Is anger impacting your life in a negative way? You don’t have to wait until things are critical before getting help.
Everyone can benefit from anger management. If the signs described above feel familiar, causing anger to interfere with your daily life, relationships, work, or physical health, a professional will help you learn skills to treat the issues.
Seek help now with anger management with an expert therapist through Octave.
